I’m half done with my first class. The one thing I do not like is that these are continuing education credits. The one thing I do like is the face to face and collaborative part that I didn’t get by testing out of college. I best get started on my long assignment which gets shared and peer-reviewed so I can roll with a first draft if necessary. I got some ideas rattling around in my brain, for a change, which I was hoping would happen or I was going to punt on this set of courses. I really like Medieval history and it’s my favorite part of doing genealogy, finding that someone’s verified roots go back to at least 1500 AD. I am being forced to think about and forced to write about a childhood that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It is much like any other crappy childhood, but this one is mine and what does sharing it have to do with me getting better or getting over it? Well, I have a weblog started which is a good tool for a writer to practice and get his work in front of people. I am pretty good at the 12 minute writes we do in class and I can just write sometimes, but I need to want to write, and my first instinct needs to be to write, and I need what Virginia Wolfe needed and got, a room with a view and a small allowance. Her 500 pounds/annual translates into 25,000 pounds now or about $40,000 current money. I have looked at what I have done over the years when reading, I have looked at the legal/historical method of what’s going on and have not looked to see how people actually do their writing. I got a lot of books I do want to read at least half of them before I die. No small goal in and of itself. When I prioritize my writing and actually get in the writing groove, we will see what comes out of me.

Assignment #2; Write a Scene:

After leaving the USAF with an Honorable discharge I was full of piss and vinegar. I was arrogant as the day was long and I longed for doing something exciting. I looked into going in the US Army, joining CIA, and the various cop shops that might hire me. I went to Wichita, Kansas to stay with a friend and his family and started looking into what to do next. I ended up going with the safest path called Boeing, and subconsciously I have regretted it ever since. I walked into the main employment office with a purpose.

“I’d like to apply for a job.” I said.

The jaded worker behind the counter said, “What jobs on the board do you think you can do?”

“I could do the Quality Control job.” Realizing that I must still look pretty young at 24.

“What QA/QC experience do you have?”

“I had Red X orders in the Air Force,” I replied.

“What other jobs do you think you can do on that board?”

“I can do the Modification Electrician & Mechanic, Field & Hangar job.”

She picked up a well-worn 3×5 card and read, “Can you install and remove HI-LOKs?”

“I can install and remove any aircraft fastener in the world.”

She again read the card, “Can you install and remove HI-LOKs?”

“Yes”

She responded, “Here is the application, fill it out, and bring it back to me.”

It took almost an hour to fill out all of that paperwork. I took the completed paperwork to the counter.

She said, “We will call you if we are interested.”

“Thank you.”

The next Monday I went to the Modification employment office, walked in, and asked where my paperwork was in the process.

“We will call you if we are interested,” they replied.

The next day I was sitting outside the Mod office just thinking. I started watching the ladies walking out on their way to lunch. No one locked the door! After a few minutes I walked into the Mod office and slid up to the counter.

The manager walked up and said, “Can I help you?”

“I put in my application last week and I was wondering if I could get scheduled for a Plate Test?

“He looked in his pile of applications, found mine, and said, “Could you come here tomorrow?”

“I will be there!”

The next day 17 people showed up to take the Plate test. You are given a drawing that shows how to assemble the 3 plates and what fasteners to install in which rows. When finished, the instructor inspects your work and then asks you to remove specific fasteners from each row. Not everybody gets asked to do the second part where you remove fasteners. When we were all done only 3 of the 17 people were offered jobs.

If all else fails, try writing. As Jules Renard said: “Writing is the only profession in which one can make no money without being ridiculous.”

Written to the scouts of Troop 203 at Hahn Air Base in West Germany.

You guys were such fun to be with! My time spent with military brats was the best time of my life. I walked into my first scout meeting as an adult leader and a scout asked me if I knew the Scout Law. Then he asked me if I knew the Scout Oath. Upon hearing my answers, he raced into the meeting room and announced that, “I knew,” and that I wouldn’t be fooled so easily. That particular scout could never recall either the Scout Law or the Scout Oath correctly for as long as I knew him. I have known the Scout Law and Scout Oath since I was ten and it’s more important to me now than it ever has been. Scouting makes great citizens and I enjoyed every minute I ever spent in Scouting. I have always wondered what became of each and every one of you guys. The real reason I left my position as Scoutmaster had nothing to do with you guys. It was all about me. My wife baked a cake for my birthday and she served it outside of our home near Altlay, West Germany. There it was right in front of me, a cake, and I panicked, I didn’t know what to say or do, a sort of scary flat effect that signified the onset of Manic Depression in my life. I was 23 and didn’t know what had just happened. It scared the hell out of my first wife and she soon left me. It scared me as well so I first tried living with my new-found filter of anxiety and fear without any real success. Over the years I got worse and thought I was really amazing when I was actually hurting everybody I met. I got to the point where I could smell things that weren’t there and hear things that weren’t there before I put my pride in my pocket and went for professional help. The EAP (Employee Assistance Program) counselor saw me for one hour. He wrote furiously almost every word that came out of my mouth. He then referred me to a set of counselors that might be able to help me. I chose the one who could figure out my problem in five sessions or less. Upon meeting the new psychologist, he asked me what I thought my problem was, I told him that I had Bipolar I. On our fourth meeting I asked him if he was going to kick me loose and what he thought was really wrong with me. Yes, he said, and he said that I had Bipolar I. He also referred me to the med-nurse who immediately put me on Depakote. I felt amazingly happy for three days and then I started felling like I needed a career change, so I thought about moving down to California and offering to run the Manson gang for a while. I stopped taking meds the next day. Decades of counseling followed and being fitted up with Psych meds became my hobby. I have been saddled with a debilitating psychological problem that grows worse. In no way did I ever want to stop doing Scouting, but I was given a disease that I have never handled correctly or well. I miss you guys and will always wonder what happened to you.

I have a Memoir class in like eight days and I don’t even know if I have a voice still. I had a voice at one time and now it’s in hibernation or something. The teacher isn’t letting me know what books to buy or how to prepare in any way so I guess it’s gonna be a writing class and not so much a book work class. The teacher’s name in Theo Pauline Nestor and I have read her two books as well as Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt. I read ‘Tis by Frank McCourt too cuz it kinda extends the story from the Angela’s Ashes. I also bought the book Working it Out: 23 Women Writers, Artists, Scientists, and Scholars Talk About Their Lives and Work which includes a piece about/by Virginia Valian whom Theo Nestor spend quite a bit of time discussing as to her work practice or how one gets work done. I have no idea how this class is going to work. I have a memory stick about half full with my Writing folder, Genealogy folder, class websites, bank, and blog in it. Just in case, cuz I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do. The teacher of my next class is in contact with me, his class has to do with writing Fiction. I have two Memoir classes and two Fiction classes to get through. The list of Actual writers I have actually met is growing, I will add one next week and another one about five weeks later. So far I have met Norman Mailer, Bill Kenower, Terry Persun, and various members of the Skagit Valley Writers League, of which I am also a member. I am setting myself up to be a writer and the only thing I seem to be missing is the writing so my goal is to write about 1,000 words per day even after the classes start. My therapist likes my barrels, netting, and really long sticks story start maybe because I added some stuff to the story while I was talking to him…y’know like what a writer does when their in the zone and writing. Only time and practice will tell as to my being a real writer. I had business cards made up with a classic typewriter as the background. I started a science fiction by Terry Persun and it’s pretty enjoyable. The beginning takes place in a dystopian world so I had to look that up so that a word I now use has some meaning. The main reason I am taking a set of classes from the University of Washington is so that I can be an alumni of a school that has sports teams I can route for, oh, and I guess, so that I can learn to write better. I think that once I get down there and get over the initial whatever it is I will do fine. I did vow that if I ever did anymore schooling I would only do it where there was a face to face part, no online for me from here on out. If I have a genre that I really like it has to be Espionage. I like Espionage because I grew up watching the Vietnam War on TV and I served in the United States Air Force in Europe during the Cold War. Ciao!

No whining? So I have to write without whining? How does that even work? I’m supposed to have this gift rattling around inside of me, but I don’t know how to get the muse to show up at my door. As I get rolling I need to eradicate the BE verb and use action verbs that can stand on their own. The rain fell softly on the tin roof. Wow is that dull. I have lived a life that I do not realize its potential. If I operate on the premise that I am afraid then at least I have somewhere to start from. I am afraid of becoming famous. That much I know. I am no longer afraid of drinking simply because I have had one beer. I am still afraid of visiting a dentist for any reason. I would much rather read a good book than just about anything else. I need to be loved, but I do not really believe that to be true. I don’t seem old enough to be old, but I remember being young s if it were yesterday. I must be in the continuum of middle age. Any day now my pension will kick in safe as houses. Writing is my new gig and I intend to make the most of it. If I can just write one book I will be happy, win a prize or two and make some money…great. Accept phone calls? No way. I have no real need for vanity apart from having a healthy ego. A certain amount of wealth would do very nicely. I remember riding my old red Schwinn bicycle for whole days without using my hands. I can even remember being able to smell Food, trees, breakfast. Now I can breath, but not smell. I would like to be deaf, I have even asked God to strike me deaf, maybe just so I can smell again. Breakfast would be very nice to smell. I used to Spelunk a bit when I was young and doing something other than reading. I have rappelled and enjoyed that very much. I even climbed Der Zugspitze in West Germany, well it was West Germany at the time. I am a Cold War Veteran. I like that. I spend quite a bit of time thinking about Europe, the history of it and the modern dichotomy that espionage makes use of. I visited castles and drove on Der Autobahn. I was also a Scoutmaster in the Boy Scouts of America and was voted into the Order of the Arrow as an adult. The OA is Scouting version of the National Honor Society. I consider it my highest honor. When I mas outprossesing from Hahn Air Base the Education advisor took several looks at my transcript and asked my why I have joined the military as an Enlisted person I had no real answer for her. I finally finished my BA in 2014 majoring in Liberal Arts because I wanted to major in too many things over the years.